"For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."

"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."

"Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love."

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

"We are the hero of our own story."

"The world loves to be deceived."

"Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there."

"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments. There are consequences."

"The greatest remedy for anger is delay."

"There are but few saints amongst scientists, as among other men, but truth itself is a goal comparable with sanctity."