"There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction."

"Repulsion is the sentry that guards the gate to all that we most desire."

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad"

"It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself."

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad."

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it."

"Personally I think birthdays and anniversaries are like menstrual cramps, a regular pain in the ass that's somehow connected to birth."

"If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator ---- It would be a good idea to just leave them there."

"The old lie; Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori. (Sweet and fitting it is to die for the fatherland)"

"I don't want to be charged with child abuse."

"A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view."

"One hand washes the other. (Manus Manum Lavet)"