"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

"Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long."

"Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."

"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."

"Sometimes with secret pride I sigh, To think how tolerant am I; Then wonder which is really mine: Tolerance, or a rubber spine?"

"Deep is a wounded heart, and strong A voice that cries against a mighty wrong; And full of death as a hot wind's blight, Doth the ire of a crushed affection light."

"I didn't know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child."

"That laughter costs too much which is purchased by the sacrifice of decency."

"To revive sorrow is cruel."

"Who is more busy than he who hath least to do?"

"The end result of kindness is that it draws people to you."