"I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."

"People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it."

"The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig."

"Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -Did you ever try buying them without money?"

"I drink because she nags, he said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew."

"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."

"I don't know why red fades before blue it just does."

"Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other."

"The man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled."

"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness."

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

"There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us."